Lifelong Impact on Children
Children who grow up in families with domestic violence are impacted for life. However, the harmful cycle of violence can be broken. Ending the violence requires a strong commitment from both the community and the family.
What Parents Can Do to Help Their Children
Safety Plan
If you have a spouse or partner who is violent, it is important to have a safety plan for yourself and your children. As part of a child's safety plan, the following should be discussed:
- Instruct children to stay out of parent's fights. (They may get seriously injured.)
- Agree on a safe place to go if there is a serious fight. (Such as a friend or neighbor's house.)
- Decide who they should call for help. Have them practice picking up the phone to call for help.
- Make sure they know their own address and phone number.
- If they are at home and feel unsafe, help them figure out where they can go to feel safe.
Additional Ways to Help Children
In addition:
- Encourage children to talk honestly about family violence, what they have seen and heard and their feelings and fears.
- Encourage them to speak with other adults for support such as teachers, relatives, neighbors, etc.
- Listen to your children. Do not talk too much or explain away the violence.
- Maintain and create family routines (chores, meals, naps, bedtimes), rules and non-violent discipline.
- Take time out when your children are really getting to you. For example: count to ten or go to your room.
- Make time for their favorite relaxing activities such as storybooks, quiet music, walks, play dough or baking.
- Do something relaxing and special for yourself. Children follow your example.